Well I would come on here to post positive things but two problems come up in that.One this is where I vent not happy but sad.Where I let my anger or frustration out so I dont take it out on those around me that I love although I make that mistake to.Problem two is that I seldom have something truly positive to smile about.

I belive I hit one of my all time lows a few days ago.Easily one of the worst feelings in the world.I was so drunk I could hardly walk or stand and I dont remember anything I had said.All I remember is a awesome friend coming over worried about me to try and work me through it although that didnt help much.She did however make me give a promise.I made more of a deal with her.She quits doing something and I quit drinking.I have tried to hold up on my word although it is very difficult.But 3 days being sober on my own is sadly a new record for me.

But yah...I was driven to my lowest point due to me trusting someone who fucked me over.More or less two people.Jeremy my moms boyfriend atthe time...One of the first I actually liked in any sense went ape shit on my mom.....I actually called him dad which was a fucking mistake....So me and a friend went after him and handled our buisness.My friend spent the night a few nights and when he lived he stole 600 dollars...we are still trying to find him...

It has been one of those two weeks now In my life where I have been finding out who my friends are....well who my true friends are and who the fools are.Its amazing how few real people I have in my life that I hold near.It's a bit of a realization.It's gotten me so insanly angry that Ive started to slip back to the way I used to be....

Only a few of you on here know me in real life and those of you who know me from along time ago know how destructive I can be.My temper gets unreal at times and I even told one person that I was affraid of myself and got counseling.My temper tends to be a danger.People dont expect me to be as mean or strong as I am I surprise myself more and more as time goes on....

So going sober right now is the first thing I need to do to get myself back on track.I started listening to my music again...therapy in itself.I dont have happy music but when Im pissed off music lets me put my emotion into thinking rather then physical reaction.

Outside the negative The positive is I know of three people I can trust.Three people I cannot let go.Sam AKA Rhino (his nickname irl if you knew him you would understand) Vanessa Patterson who is like a confident for me....I tell her most anything because I know she wont judge me.And Megan (She spells it different but I suck with wierd spelling shit) Who I work with.Love her to pieces.Shes like a sister to me.Touch her I fucking kill you -.-......

I also found out I have a second job over the summer.Im getting back into a pitcrew again.Building cars and what not is a passion of mine so Im excited about that.Also found out I might be getting a new car to play with.1972 mercury couger...the old ones that cool ass ones not the new douche cars.Dont know what motor it has in it but I expect it to have a 383 small block.If it has a flat 6 I so have to get anew motor.But that will be my fun toy ^^

My bike is still in the shop >>
when I got it they didnt tell me the frame was bent so I cant ride it...legally and its guna cost 2500 to fix it.Id do it myself but I know nothing about street bikes other then I can kill myself on it...Ohh fun xDDD

Well I got shit to do so I leave you with this note.Dont be affraid to cry to someone you love and care about.If they truly love you as you love them they will hold you and let you cry.Those who judge you are well....gimme thier adress Ive already gotten in two fights this week I got the itch go ahead piss me off I dare yah. ^^